Skip to main content

Hehe Haha – Funny Clean Lawyer Jokes

Hehe Haha – Funny Clean Lawyer Jokes

I take my job as a criminal defense lawyer very seriously but sometimes it’s fun to “poke” at your own profession a little bit.  It’s well-known that a good laugh is good for one’s health and having a sense of humor about things can make life a little easier.

So here are some fun, clean lawyer jokes to help lighten your day.

Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer JokesIf a lawyer is talking in the forest, and no one is around to hear him, can he still bill for it?

What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?  – Lipstick.

A lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, “I saw the whole thing. I’ll take either side.”

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? – A Senator.

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
“Can you tell me how much you charge?”, said the client.
“Of course”, the lawyer replied, “I charge $200 to answer three questions!”
“Well that’s a bit steep, isn’t it?”
“Yes it is”, said the lawyer, “And what’s your third question?”

What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? – A lawyer can earn frequent flyer miles.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?  – Three.  One to climb the ladder, one lawyer to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? – Ask them to say “Fees!”

How does a lawyer sleep?  – First she lies on one side and then she lies on the other.

“You seem to be in some distress,” said the kindly judge to the witness. “Is anything the matter?”
“Well, your Honor,” said the witness, “I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.”

Attorney David O discusses 3 Cases, and why they were Significant.

Attorney David O discusses 3 Cases, and why they were Significant.

With each case, I try to become an even better DUI and criminal defense attorney than I was before.  I reflected back on some cases and I wanted to summarize why those cases were significant to me, and how each case made me stronger as an attorney.

1.  I represented an elderly man who was charged with assault 2nd degree-domestic violence. The alleged victim was his wife of over 30+ years. This case was significant because it demonstrated how important it is to conduct a thorough investigation. The case involved interviewing several witnesses not identified in the police reports, specifically, all of client’s children. At the end of the investigation we discovered the alleged victim had been suffering from paranoia and delusions that were undiagnosed prior to our investigation.  The case was dismissed.

2.  I represented a young woman charged with DUI. This case was significant to me because it demonstrated how important it is to have effective client meetings to discuss their case and their objectives. I learned to not simply believe everything in the police report to be true and accurate but to get the client’s perspective on what happened on the night of the incident. In my opinion, to effectively represent a client there must be a meaningful meeting with the client to go over discovery and explore evidentiary and legal issues. This case ultimately went to jury trial because the prosecutor did not believe my client’s defense to DUI, specifically, that she drank alcohol after driving and before law enforcement initiated their investigation. The verdict was not guilty.

3.  I represented a young client charged with a VUCSA, specifically possession of heroin. This case was significant to me because it showed me the importance of building trust between me and my client and how it takes time to develop a relationship and how understanding will eventually grow into respect and a deeper trust. My client still battles with his addiction to heroin and has good days and unfortunately some bad. He is currently being held in custody and will undergo treatment when released. He is expecting his first child in a couple of months and really wants to get clean for himself and his son.

Career improvement is never-ending… I will continue to strive to be the best attorney I can be.


7 Things You Need to Know about the Law Firm of David O Defense

7 Things You Need to Know about the Law Firm of David O Defense

1. The law firm of David O Defense is exclusively dedicated to DUI and criminal defense.

business manBy focusing on only DUI and criminal defense, the lawyers of David O Defense are able to continue to strengthen their knowledge on DUI and criminal defense law, they are aware of any new DUI or criminal law changes, and they personally get to know the prosecutors and judges that handle these types of cases, all of which contributes to better case resolutions.

2. The law firm of David O Defense is comprised of 3 powerhouse DUI and criminal defense attorneys.

1)  David O, senior attorney and owner of David O Defense, 2) Christopher Choe, associate DUI and criminal defense attorney, and 3) Anastasia Kidniz, associate DUI and criminal defense attorney. (Click on the attorneys names to learn more)

3. David O has been practicing DUI and criminal defense for over 12 years.

Attorney David O has dedicated his law firm and legal career to DUI and criminal defense because he loves helping people through tough times. He wants to get the right result for each client no matter how long it takes. He and his associate attorneys understand that providing excellent service requires; hard work, an attention to detail, and preparation.

4. Communication is a priority.

The lawyers of David O Defense make themselves readily available to their clients and are easily contacted by phone, text, and/or email.  They can be contacted day, night, and weekends.  If a client leaves a message they can expect their attorney will reply promptly.

5. The law firm of David O Defense is willing to take a case to trial if necessary.

fighting business manSome attorneys avoid going to trial at all costs because it means more work, time, and energy.  But the attorneys at David O Defense have no fear in taking a case to trial if it’s in the client’s best interests.  The DUI and criminal defense attorneys at David O Defense work hard and fight hard for each and every client!

6. Legal fees are reasonable flat fees, no hidden costs ever.

Here at David O Defense we are upfront about the cost of representation.  During a free legal consultation a client will be quoted a flat legal fee before any work begins.  No hidden costs or unexpected charges will ever be added to a client’s legal fee.

7. You won’t regret hiring David O Defense to represent your case.

The attorneys at David O Defense are not only knowledgeable about DUI and criminal defense but they are also caring and compassionate.  They work extremely hard to achieve the best case resolution possible for each and every client.  Take a moment and read a few of our Client Reviews to see what past clients have said about David O Defense.